How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
