i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
