why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
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