I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Randomize
