what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
