i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
