Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
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