Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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