Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
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