he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
