I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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