I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
