I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Randomize
