i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
