Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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