I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
