so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Of course I have a pirate flag
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
