Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
