Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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