Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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