I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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