Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
