we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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