I want to walk on stilts...naked
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
