White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
40s are totally the cure
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
