I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
