So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
