she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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