brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
