he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
