I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
