The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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