this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
