So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize