I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Randomize
