She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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