Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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