You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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