just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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