he shaved USA in his pubs
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
