I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
