no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I still have a little drunk in my system
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
