i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
