So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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