Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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