I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
