She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
i dont even know how to be here
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
