I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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