ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Randomize
