so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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