I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
The power of my boobs compel you
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
