that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Randomize