We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
