Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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