You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
