In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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