I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize