Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
then he tried to convert me to islam
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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