I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
