Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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