He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize