90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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