She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Randomize
