By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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