she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
