You're my little dorito
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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