I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
