let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
