That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I still have a little drunk in my system
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
