She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
