i would punch a child for taco bell
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
