you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
two words...techno handjob
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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