I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
