Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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