i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
