Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
