Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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